Delay with processing of transactions

Hello.
We're an Exchange livecoin.net. We'd like to get help or official response from someone of the Ethereum development team. The problem is the following:
We send transaction, get TX ID. But the transaction by some reason (for example our node is delayed at this moment) doesn't get to the network and can not be found via block explorer. Later on this transaction disappears from ETH node by unknown reason (we have not restarted the node).

eth.getTransaction('.....') doesn't show this transaction and it can not be found in etherscan.io

So we'd like to clarify the next thing: when ETH node gets fully synchronized and new transactions will be sucessfully sent from that same address, is there are possibility that the first transaction (the lost one) will be processed later by some way or another? (for example via reply).

And the same question for smart contracts, specifilcally about a "transfer" function. We encountered earlier a situation when a transfer for smart contract was processed 2 weeks later. For example, a transaction was send on June 1, then disappeared from node (never appeared in etherscan) and on June 14 this transaction suddenly processed by the node in new block and appeared in etherscan with an old TX ID.

How we should handle such questionable transactions? We can't wait for a couple of months to be sure that such a transactions will not be processed, because we need to roll money back to client or provide proof of sending in etherscan immediately.
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